"You looked weird, Mom!"

When I first told my younger son Philip (age 8) that I was going to have eye surgery so I would no longer need to wear glasses, he protested that he didn't want me to look different. He wanted me to stay exactly the way I was.

More than four months have passed since I stopped wearing glasses. About a week ago we were watching part of a videotaped TV interview in which my husband and I talked about transracial adoption. The interview was taped in November. Philip saw me on the videotape and commented in surprise, "You looked weird, Mom!" Today I look normal to him without glasses. It feels "normal" to me, too, and I love it!

Aging, etc.

In some ways, clear lensectomy is like turning back the clock (or calendar). Unlike most people my age (including those who have had LASIK), I don't need to use reading glasses. It's as if I'm getting away with something! I also love the fact that I will never need to have cataract surgery. Been there, done that--albeit a few years early.

I went to Billings Photography on Saturday to get an updated business photo sans glasses. I will post it as soon as I have the JPG.

A New "Normal"

I'm amazed at how quickly it has become "normal" for me to be independent of glasses or contact lenses. I have almost--but not quite--begun to take my new freedom for granted.

Another source of amazement is how "invisible" the change has been when it comes to people outside my immediate family. No one has said, "Hey! How come you're not wearing glasses anymore?" But when you think about it, I probably wouldn't notice the same kind of change in anyone outside MY immediate family. I haven't become a raving beauty overnight. I look like myself, only better (in my opinion!).

My biggest worry is retinal detachment. I've had vitreous floaters for most of my life, but now they seem more ominous. Being a defensive pessimist, I need to have something to fixate on!

Janet

Zones and Focal Points

My new bionic lenses operate differently from natural lenses. Each lens has five different focusing zones, and the lenses in the two eyes are different. My brain is adjusting to this new way of focusing. Distance vision is easy; I don't have to do anything special to see faraway objects with crystal clear sharpness. The lens in my right eye seems to be especially good with distance vision. If I'm driving and I close first one eye and then the other, I can see a difference between the two. I'm certain that my distance vision with the right eye is better than 20/20. It reminds me of when I got my first pair of contact lenses at age 18, except that these lenses are a lot more comfortable and require no maintenance except for eye drops 4X daily as my eyes are healing from the surgery. I'll be done putting drops in my left eye on May 17 and my right eye on May 31.

For near vision, the two eyes have different focal points. The lens in the right eye was implanted only four days ago, and the two eyes haven't yet figured out how to work as a team with maximum efficiency. If I close one eye and then the other, and if I hold a page of text at varying distances from my face, small type will be sharp and clear with the left eye at one distance (about 10 inches) and with the right eye at a different distance (say, 12 inches). I also notice that I have to wait a bit for the text to come into focus. It's blurry at first and then clear if I'm holding the text at the right distance. For intermediate-range work (looking at my computer monitor), the left eye is a little better because it's had more practice over the past couple of weeks. The right eye is still a rookie!

Self-indulgent? You decide...

Is it self-indulgent of me to opt for multifocal lens implants so I can stop wearing glasses? It IS a major purchase, but it's also a once-in-a-lifetime expense that will actually improve the quality of my life every waking hour for the rest of my life! I feel very lucky.

Self-indulgent? Maybe. Do I feel guilty about the expense? A little, but not too much.

Is this type of vision correction "artificial"? Any type of vision correction is artificial, when you think about it. You can wear your corrective lenses in metal or plastic frames perched on the bridge of your nose, or as little discs floating on a layer of tears on top of your cornea, or as implants inside the lens capsules in your eyes. No matter where you put them, they're still corrective lenses. Lens implants are certainly a lot more comfortable and convenient than anything else I've tried!

May 4, 2007 Balanced Vision

Over the past two weeks I have enjoyed being free of glasses, but my right eye was still uncorrected so my vision was a mixture of clear and blurry. The effect is a little hard to describe, but it was like having a haze around everything. Also, if I would reach up to scratch my forehead and accidentally cover my left eye, everything was blurry.

Yesterday morning I went to Omaha Eye and Laser to get the new lens implanted in my right eye. I was still nervous, but not nearly as nervous as I was on April 19th. I thought I knew what to expect this time, and that was true for the most part. A few things were different this time, however.

First, I did not go directly from the waiting room to the surgery area. Instead, I was taken to an examining room to have both eyes checked before the surgery. Dr. James Liu wanted to get a final refraction to make sure the new lens would be appropriate for my right eye. Dr. Bergman (an optometrist on staff) did the refraction. I also saw an intern who was working with Dr. Bergman.

Second difference: when I was being prepared for surgery, I was able to admire the view through the big plate-glass windows on one side of the room. Prior to getting the left lens implanted, I couldn't see much of anything without my glasses.

Third difference: I wasn't entirely "out" at any time during yesterday's procedure. I didn't feel any pain or anxiety, but I was definitely aware of seeing a bright light and hearing background sounds such as a radio playing. Lou was my anesthesiologist again, and he said he would give me the same amount of sedation as the first time. I'm not sure what would account for the difference--possibly shifting hormone levels (yesterday was the first day of my period) or a reduced level of anxiety. I remember the nurse putting the oxygen "thingie" into my nostrils. I asked her if I'd had oxygen before, and she said I had. I don't remember breathing in the oxygen the first time, but I do remember someone talking about oxygen. Shortly before the procedure yesterday, I remember Dr. Liu asking me to move up about an inch. Then he put something over my forehead to immobilize my head. This time I remember answering the nurse when she asked me what I wanted for my post-op snack. However, Tom said I made an identical comment to him twice yesterday (asking him about his errands) but I only remember asking him once. So I was more "with it" than before, but still a little vague. I was definitely groggy when I got out of bed and walked to the recliner in the recovery area.

I went back to Omaha Eye and Laser for my one-day followup on the right eye today, and both eyes are doing well. Dr. Liu asked how I liked having balanced vision, and I said it was an improvement although my right eye is still settling down. Yesterday Dr. Bergman said the left lens was "stable" and today Dr. Liu told the nurse that my eyes were "quiet" (a good thing--you don't want your eyes to have a lot of activity going on inside them!). He noticed a few stray cells (floaters) but nothing abnormal. I'm hoping for an uneventful recovery.

This morning I took the dogs out in the backyard and just stood there for a few minutes admiring the view. Every day with my new vision is a gift for which I am grateful--a miracle of modern medical technology. I love the freedom of having clear vision without wearing glasses or contacts.

Making Adjustments

I went to my one-day followup examination with Dr. Liu yesterday, and no problems were evident. I told him that my only complaint was about the protective eye goggles that I have to wear at night. He suggested cutting off the elastic and using surgical tape to position one goggle over my left eye. I tried it last night and got a much better night's sleep.

My other challenge has been working on the computer and reading at my desk. I tried popping out the left lens of my glasses, but the combination of ReZOOM in the left eye and glasses over the right eye was too distracting. The two eyes were sending different signals to my brain, because the images produced by glasses are smaller and somewhat distorted compared to images transmitted to the brain by an intraocular lens (IOL) like ReZOOM. It was like seeing double. I tried working without glasses, but the sharpness of my near vision was not good enough with one corrected eye and one uncorrected eye. Today I tried a new tactic: putting the left lens back in my glasses and covering it with a piece of cardboard cut to fit over the lens. I can wear the glasses to see with my right eye and give my left eye a rest. It works OK, but Tom keeps teasing me about looking like a pirate wearing an eye patch: "Ahoy, Matey! It's the one-eyed editor!"

At my followup appointment, Dr. Liu talked about the symptoms of retinal detachment: floaters, flashing lights, sudden changes in vision. I went home and Googled "detached retina." I learned that the risk of retinal detachment is much higher for very nearsighted people than for the general population: 1 in 20 lifetime risk versus 1 in 10,000. I'm focusing on the fact that 95% of highly nearsighted people DON'T experience retinal detachment, but if I do have symptoms I will seek treatment immediately.

A Whole New World!

"A whole new world... a new fantastic point of view!"

When I woke up this morning, the theme from Disney's Aladdin was going through my head. My left eye has its new "bionic" reZoom multifocal lens, and I can actually function without glasses or contact lenses most of the time. My right eye will get its reZoom lens on May 3. Until then, my vision will be half clear and half blurry. This morning my husband Tom asked, "Can you see me?", and I told him, "Yes, but you're not in high-definition mode yet!"

Having surgery under anesthesia was a new experience for me. Scary, because I didn't know what to expect. My blood pressure was higher than usual (140/80 instead of 120/70) as I was being prepped, and the nurse asked if I was nervous. "Yes!" I replied. She asked if I wanted her to bring my husband in from the waiting room, I said, "No, because then he'll think something's wrong and he'll get nervous, and I'll be more nervous because HE is." When my doctor (Dr. James Liu) stopped by my bed before the surgery to ask if I had any questions, I asked him what I would feel or see when he was operating on my eye. He said I might feel some pressure but no pain, and depending on how awake I was, I might see bright lights and colors.

When my bed was wheeled into the operating room, I had my eyes shut. The left eye was taped shut to keep the eyedrops in place, but I had my right eye shut on purpose. The anesthesiologist, Lou, asked me if I was nervous. "Yes!" I said. "Do you want sedation?" he inquired. "Yes!" (I thought: Bring it on!) Lou did a good job. I was asleep throughout the procedure, which was fine with me! Let's save the bright colorful lights for the Fourth of July.

No pain during or after the procedure. During my pre-operative Internet research on cataract surgery, I learned that it's normal for everything to have a pinkish cast as the eye is healing. Yesterday evening the sky was the most amazing shade of violet!

This morning I carefully took a shower, making sure that no water got in my eyes. (Fresh water after eye surgery can cause infection or irritation.) It was startling to be able to notice details inside the shower stall, like a piece of sock lint. I might be forced to clean the shower more often from now on.

So far, the worst part (besides the cost and the anxiety) has been wearing protective goggles at night. They're cumbersome, and they leave red rings around both my eyes. My close-up vision with the new lens could be better, but it's not bad. It will be interesting to see if the visual clarity increases over the next couple of weeks as the eye heals.

April 14, 2007 Five days pre-op

Am I scared? Yes. Excited? Yes, that too.

Here are my biggest fears (realistic or not):

• I'll lose part or all of my vision.
• We won't be able to make the payments for the surgery.
• I won't wake up from the anesthesia.
• It will hurt a lot.

Here are my hopes:

• I'll be able to see well without glasses or contact lenses FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE.
• I will look better, feel better about myself, and enjoy life more without glasses.
• I will actually make more money because of my higher level of confidence.

Hope outweighs fear, but it doesn't erase fear altogether.

April 12, 2007 One week pre-op

Today is my 49th birthday. One week from today, the lens of my left eye will be suctioned out of my eye and replaced with a multifocal lens implant (trade name: ReZOOM) in a procedure called a clear lensectomy. Two weeks later (May 3), the lens of my right eye will be replaced with a ReZOOM lens.

Basically, I will undergo cataract surgery about 25 years earlier than the average cataract patient. The goal: life without glasses or contact lenses.

This morning I had a preoperative medical exam to ensure that I will be able to tolerate the anesthesia.